How many digital photos do you have of your valentine? Apple makes it easy to turn those JPEGs into wonderful hard-cover or soft-cover books with iPhoto ’11. For Valentine’s Day, I gave my wife a hard-cover, 60-page coffee table book of our wedding photos. If you don’t have a Mac, consider using Shutterfly or Picaboo for your next photo book gift.

And for a twist on chocolates, give your Valentine what my wife gave me: a large tin of Godiva chocolate pretzels.

Shoptimism: Why the American Consumer Will Keep on Buying No Matter What.

Here are excerpts from Shoptimism, offering insights on gift giving.

• “We give gifts ‘coded’ to express ‘positive emotions,’ depending on the occasion. For birthdays, housewarmings, at the end-of-year holidays, we give gifts coded ‘Joy.’ For graduations and retirements, we give gifts coded ‘Pride.’ For hospitalizations and going-away parties, we give gifts coded ‘Hope.’ And on Valentine’s Day, Mother’s and Father’s Day — also at funerals — we give gifts coded ‘Affection.’ And, yes, on all of the above as well as other occasions, we give gifts coded (you can always tell) ‘Obligation.’”
• “The reasons we bestow gifts, according to respondents: they enable us to express pleasure or show friendship (42 percent); they are means by which we obtain or bestow pleasure (27 percent); because we feel obligated to (15 percent).”
• “Money — not china or kitchen appliances — has become the wedding gift of choice, a development that the Romantic buyer in me takes as unwelcome news.”
• “Each of us, on average, spends a couple of thousand dollars a year on gifts, roughly half of it during the ‘Hard Eight,’ that is the eight-week holiday shopping season.”
• “Lisa is a friend who lives in New York City, a talented novelist, a huge-hearted wife and mom, smart, funny, sardonic, immensely kind…. Everyday shopping leaves her cold…. But there’s one kind of Buy at which Lisa excels, and that’s gifting. I ask Lisa whether she gives gift cards. Yes, turns out she does, but only as birthday presents her kids give to their friends, cards exchangeable for music and books. Otherwise, when Lisa shops for gifts she says she looks for the ‘unexpected.’ Stalking the unexpected requires a lively imagination and a grasp of the quirks of one’s circle of gift getters. It’s ‘an all-year-round, any-kind-of-weather sport,’ she reports. ‘Because the interests and tastes of my friends and family vary, the hunt for great gifts takes me from clothing boutiques to electronics stores, crafts fairs to eBay.’ But where she buys takes a backseat to what she buys. ‘I would like to think that if the presents I purchase are all laid out on a table, unwrapped, the people for whom they were intended would know instantly which presents were theirs.’”
• “Lisa uncannily reflects what experts say are the keys to gift-giving prowess. [Professor] Russell Belk… says that a quintessential gift satisfies six criteria, which together confirm that Lisa doesn’t just give good gift, she gives perfect gift…”
• “1. The perfect gift requires us to make an ‘extraordinary sacrifice.’ By ‘sacrifice,’ Belk doesn’t mean that we need to pawn our departed mother’s handmade quilts to help pay for the $7,000 doghouse with an Italian leather armchair (Neiman Marcus offered one in a recent Christmas gift catalog). ‘Sacrifice’ needn’t call for financial sacrifice. In Lisa’s case, sacrifice comes when she puts aside a challenging section of the novel she’s writing to make time to explore an antiques barn, where she once found a 1940s telephone for her daughter, a thoroughly modern adolescent who finds movies and Broadway musicals of that period irresistible.”
• “2. The giver of a perfect gift wishes ‘solely to please the recipient.’ The perfect gift isn’t one that begs for reciprocation or proclaims that you’re one hell of a big-time spender. The perfect gift, Belk says, is about the recipient, not about you. Lisa gets that. One year she came upon a mourning locket offered on eBay. There was an ‘H’ engraved on it. Lisa’s stepmother’s late beloved dog was named Harry. Lisa bought the piece, placed a picture of Harry inside, and gave it to her stepmother on Christmas morning.”
• “3. The perfect gift is a ‘luxury.’ By ‘luxury,’ Belk doesn’t mean that the perfect gift need be spattered with VLs [Louis Vuitton] or interlocking Cs [Chanel]. In this context a luxury is anything that isn’t strictly a necessity. To buy and give someone a pair of underwear or a mop and a bucket is thoughtful if the recipient’s in need of them. But gifts such as these don’t exactly communicate that the recipient is in some way extraordinary….”
• “4. The perfect gift is appropriate to the recipient. All of Lisa’s above-cited gifts qualify as appropriate and then some. As was the canvas tote she once bought for her friend Cathy. On the side were the words ‘It Is Was It Is,’ a phrase that Cathy happens to use inveterately. What can be more appropriate than letting someone know you actually listen to what they say, right down to their asides and throwaway lines?”
• “5. The perfect gift is ‘surprising.’ If surprise weren’t universally appreciated, Belk says, gift wrap would never have come into being. Surprise is why we love getting presents on days that aren’t birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, Mother’s or Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Grandparents’ Day, or any of the Sell Side-manufactured giving days. Last year Lisa’s daughter Elizabeth performed in a school production of The Sound of Music. While such an occasion doesn’t require a gift, many of us buy unsurprising bouquets for our pint-sized leading ladies and would-be prima ballerinas. Lisa didn’t spring for a bunch of carnations; she bought Elizabeth a pair of glove forms. Why? ‘So I could give her a big hand.’”
• “6. The perfect gift is one that the recipient desires. Belk says that we don’t have to jump through hoops to give a perfect gift. Santa didn’t get to be Santa by ripping children’s wish lists into shreds. The words ‘It’s just what I always wanted!” are confirmation that you’ve bagged a perfect gift.”

Related Post: Gift Flow, or What Makes a Great Gift

Visit MyMMs.com to customize the classic candies. First, pick two colors from 20 options. Then create a unique message on each color (two lines, eight characters per line). MyMMs.com prints one side of the candy; the other side carries the signature lowercase “m” you find on all M&Ms. It’s like text messaging via candy.

And if you’re sending custom M&Ms to your love, play off that urban legend about the green M&Ms as an aphrodisiac.

You also can upload a photo and have a your giftee’s face appear on M&Ms. I recommend choosing a single face for each M&M design because the candies are only one centimeter wide. The resulting image looks a black-and-white sketch, so avoid photos with shadowing on the face.

Allow about two weeks of lead time for your custom M&Ms. For one 7-ounce bag with personalized messages, you’ll pay about $17 plus $10 shipping. The unit price drops as you buy more bags ($14 per bag for two bags; $12 per bag for three bags). For faces on your M&Ms, you’ll need a minimum quantity of three bags for $13 per bag.

For the ultimate packaging, order the custom M&Ms with a cast-iron gumball candy dispenser with a glass top.

Instead, I turned to the WeddingChannel.com‘s unified registry search, spanning 22 different gift registries:

• Amazon.com
• Barneys New York
• Bed Bath & Beyond
• Bloomingdale’s
• Borsheims
• Bottlenotes
• Charity Registry
• Cloud 9
• Crate & Barrel
• Fortunoff
• Gump’s
• JCPenney
• Macy’s
• Neiman Marcus
• Pottery Barn
• REI
• Restoration Hardware
• Sandals Resorts
• Starwood Hotels & Resorts
• Tiffany & Co.
• Traveler’s Joy
• Williams-Sonoma

Just one search, based on her first and last name, revealed the couple’s wedding registry. Keep in mind you can give thoughtful gifts off the registry; it’s just there for the convenience of the guests. And the gift of money (or gift cards to the couple’s registered stores) is often well-received.

If the WeddingChannel.com’s search yields no results, you can individually check some of the online gift registries that the WeddingChannel.com does not cover.

• Bon-Ton stores, including Bergner’s, Boston Store, Carson Pirie Scott, Elder-Beerman, Herberger’s, Parisian and Younkers
• Dillard’s Wedding Registry
• JCPenney Wedding and Gift Registry
  
• JustGive.org’s Wedding Center
• Kohl’s Wedding Wishes Gift Registry
• Linens ‘n Things Gift Registry
• Sears Book Gift Registry
• Target Club Wedd
• Walmart Gift Registry

With the sluggish economy, both Target and Walmart are seeing more couples using their registries, according to a recent survey by TheKnot.com. For example, Target’s Club Wedd made up 18 percent of the respondents’ primary wedding registries. The survey also found that 69 percent of guests chose gifts from the couple’s wedding registry.

• Dean & DeLuca for customized gourmet gift baskets
• Cheryl&Co for gourmet cookie and dessert gift baskets
• The Fruit Company for fruit and gourmet gift baskets
• igourmet for cheese gift baskets (with more than 800 cheeses) and other fine foods
• Harry and David for fruit gift baskets and sweets
• Wolferman’s for premium English muffin breakfast gift baskets
• Usinger’s Famous Sausage gift boxes

May 2007: Submitted by Edward McMurray
After a long day of shopping in an Omaha department store, I dreaded the thought of having to take the stairs. Until I saw this sign: “For your convenience, an elevator is located in China.”

Nov. 2007: Quoted from fark.com
“Study shows three out of four women would rather get a plasma TV than a diamond necklace.” In other news, only one in four women can keep her husband from signing her name on surveys.

Jan. 2008: Submitted by Traci Williams – Maryville, Illinois
What to engrave on the inside of my husband-to-be’s wedding ring?

I turned to my sister and said, “I want something that has meaning and will remind him of me.”

Her suggestion?

“Put it back on.”

Jan. 2008: Submitted by Annemarie Woods – Allen Park, Michigan
On the first day of our marriage retreat, the instructor talked about the importance of knowing what matters to each other.

“For example,” he began, pointing to my husband, David, “do you know your wife’s favorite flower?”

David answered, “Pillsbury All Purpose.”

Feb. 2008: Submitted by Shar Durbin – Flint, Michigan
As he paid for our meal with a gift card, my husband noticed the bill was more than the card was worth, so he handed our waiter his debit card to cover the balance.

“Wow, some people might have skipped out and stuck me with the difference,” the waiter said. “Thank you for being so honest.”

Then, as he took the card, he asked. “Could I see some ID?”

A Whack on the Side of the Head: How You Can Be More Creative

The note card for my first set of gifts read:

Friday, April 7, 2000
We left work early on this snowy day. Together, we spent seven hours completing our registry. Inside these boxes are a few things we didn’t scan to the list.

When she opened the presents, she found a large square plate, a large pasta serving bowl and four rice bowls. All were from the casual china pattern chosen for our wedding, Noritake Colorwave Blue.

The second gift also had a milestone note card:

Thursday, August 2, 2001
On this day, we moved into our charming colonial home. Here is a traditional housewarming gift.

When she unwrapped this gift, she discovered a KitchenAid blender. Yes, I gave my wife a blender for Christmas. I’m sure you’ve heard the no-appliance rule for husbands: “Don’t give your wife anything with a cord that plugs in.” And the corollary to that rule is “Especially don’t give a blender.” If you read my January 11, 2008 post, you know what happens next. Inside the blender is another note card and a small Tiffany Blue Box.

Thursday, December 24, 1998 and Friday, October 6, 2000
Both were special days — our first Christmas together and our wedding day. Each day saw those little blue boxes you love.

The last gift I gave included this milestone note card.

Sunday, July 28, 2002
It’s the day after [your sister's] wedding, and we host a party on our new backyard brick patio. Inside you will find smaller bricks — and they are delicious.

This final gift complemented our Christmas morning coffee, Godiva’s large chocolate biscuit assortment.

So great gifts are creative ones — in this example, presents with a unifying theme. Sidestep rules like “don’t give a blender,” put a twist on your presentation, and turn it into a creative gift. But you can also make creative gifts (or have them made for you to give). Turn your digital photos into a bound hard-cover photo book. Give an artist a picture of your home and give your spouse a framed portrait of your dwelling. Or collaborate with your siblings to publish a family cookbook. And when your gifts are creative, chances are they will be surprising as well.

Did you know…

• …that in 2006, U.S. gift givers spent approximately $300 billion buying presents? That’s about 10 percent of the $3 trillion consumer market in the U.S.
• …that the National Retail Federation estimates that shoppers bought $24.8 billion in gift cards for 2006, a 34 percent increase over 2005?
• …that 189 million roses were produced for Valentine’s Day 2006?
• …that approximately 5 million Americans celebrate birthdays each week? An average of 700,000 birthdays take place daily.
• …that June is no longer the most popular month for weddings? August ranks first (10.2 percent), followed by June (9.9 percent).
• …that Mother’s Day is the number two American holiday for gift giving (after Christmas)? Nearly 68 percent give flowers. Also, Mother’s Day is the most popular day of the year to dine out.
• …that Father’s Day was not officially recognized until 1972, when President Richard Nixon signed the holiday into law? The Census Bureau estimates there are 64.3 million fathers in the U.S.

For our first (paper) anniversary, I ordered 30 additional 8×10 wedding photos. I secretly reorganized the wedding album, adding the new pictures. On our anniversary day, I suggested we page through the album together. Soon my wife realized our album had many more pictures — images she had not seen since scouring over tiny proofs. She cherished this gift of memories, this gift of paper.

Traditional and Modern Anniversary Gifts

But, guys — don’t miss out on this gift idea opportunity. After you get back from your honeymoon, track down final copies of your gift registry lists. Highlight any gifts you did not receive. Keep the lists in a safe place, so these wedding wishes do not become lost memories.

In a few years, if you are stumped for gift ideas for your wife, pull out the lists and see if there are any good candidates. Bath sheets may not be on target, but maybe you can complete a cherished gift by giving her those two missing china settings. Be sure to include a note card or greeting card with a message that shows you remembered and reveals the theme: wedding wishes, now fulfilled.